


The Middle

by pixelfigs



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a song, Feels, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 08:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17804294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixelfigs/pseuds/pixelfigs
Summary: Oh baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle?I'm losing my mind just a littleSo why don't you just meet me in the middle?





	The Middle

**Author's Note:**

> A fic I wrote on a plane while listening to The Middle by Zedd on loop.  
> This is also a callout post at myself for being awful at talking about feelings lol.

Jesse sat on the stairs outside the kitchen, head buried into his hands as he stared at the ground. His hat laid on the floor a few feet away from when he’d thrown it at the wall. Hanzo watched him from the doorway, seething. He could hear the tap running behind him, sink still half full of dirty dishes.

 

It wasn’t the first time they’d gotten into a spat. The mock bickering rarely strayed from being playful, but when it did it was never like this. Hanzo recounted the conversation, how it got so aggressive.

 

Because you’re an asshole, he thought to himself.

 

True, but Jesse was pushing. Suggesting they go to Hanamura, honor his brother, always asking if he’s okay, always asking what’s wrong.

 

“If there is something wrong I wish to tell you then I will, otherwise it is none of your business.”

 

A pang of guilt squeezed Hanzo’s heart as he remembered the silent response from Jesse. It had hurt.

 

There was a long sigh as Jesse sat up. His eyes red and swollen. Hanzo felt his anger now pushed away by a sudden flood of regret. Jesse rose from the stairs, grabbing his hat. He walked back to the kitchen, ignoring Hanzo as he passed. Hanzo wanted nothing more than to pull him in close and take back all the vile he’d spat out. Instead he watched, arms crossed, as Jesse turned off the sink and picked up the broken dishes on the floor.

 

“Jesse…”

 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore Hanzo.”

 

Hanzo swallowed back the lump of sadness in his throat.

 

“I just, I’m losing my goddamn mind here.”

 

He looked up to Hanzo. His warm, brown eyes now accusing. The mouth Hanzo was so used to seeing in a shit-eating grin, or chewing at the end of a cigarillo set in a frown. It struck Hanzo how tired he looked.

 

A thousand thoughts ran through Hanzo’s mind. He wanted to apologize, tell Jesse it wasn’t his fault. To tell him how he hasn’t slept for days, kept up by sadness and guilt. To talk about how lost he feels with no family. A punishment he brought upon himself. Instead, they all caught on his tongue. There were no words. He didn’t need to put that on Jesse. He didn’t deserve it. So he looked back in silence.

 

“See that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I can’t just know what you’re thinking if you don’t say nothing. I’m not a fucking psychic.”

 

He threw the plate fragments into the trash.

 

“I tell you everything Hanzo, fucking everything. That might not be your style but you give me nothing to work on. Instead I take shots in the fucking dark and you know what? That leaves me feelin’ mighty stupid.”

  
The swell of sadness returned. Hanzo felt it bubble in the back of his throat and sting at the corners of his eyes. He wanted to run, let the guilt consume him, but he Jesse’s stare trapped him. He scowled, reflecting Hanzo’s closed posture as he leaned against the counter.

 

“Jesus fuck Hanzo, can you just say something?”

 

“I…” The wave took him. Hanzo sobbed, sliding down and collapsing against the bottom of the door frame. They were loud, ugly tears. All the guilt taking over his thoughts. His brother, Jesse, he only hurt the people he loved. There was no place, no person that deserved the pain he brought.

 

A warm arm wrapped around his shoulders. Jesse pulled him close, stroking his hair, whispering comforting words. It took Hanzo a few minutes to regain his composure.

 

“I’m sorry,” he rasped.

 

“I know Han, I know, but we can’t keep doing this shit or this is just gonna happen again. You’ll be like a boilin’ pot with the lid on too tight and blow up all over again.”

 

“So what needs to change?”

 

“Were you not listenin’ to a damn thing I said? You need to tell me what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling. You don’t need to wear your heart on your sleeve like me, but I need you to meet me somewhere in the middle.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“You can’t?”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Jesse pushed himself off the floor and pulled a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and poured a tall drink.

 

“You can’t,” he drained half the glass. “What is it? You don’t trust me?”

 

“No, I trust you.”

 

“Your pride as a Shimada then?”

 

“This is not about my pride.”

 

“Then what the fuck is it about Hanzo?”

 

“I do not want to put the pain I feel upon you.”

 

Hanzo saw Jesse’s expression soften as he took another sip. Looking down to the floor, he took a deep breath to continue.

 

“There are many times I want to tell you my thoughts, but I lack the ability to express them accurately to you. They are vague ideas I do not have the words for. Even if I were to find the words for them, I fear they would only hurt you, so I keep them to myself. They are my feelings, so they are my responsibility to deal with.”

 

A hand extended in front of Hanzo, lifting him off the floor. Jesse brought him into a tight hug, kissing his forehead.

 

“I can’t believe how stupid you are,” he mumbled into Hanzo’s brow.

 

“Excuse me?”

  
“You heard me. You’re a damn fool.”

 

“Do not mock me.”

 

“Sweetheart, I’m not mocking you. It’s just that even after all this time you don’t understand.”

 

“Understand what?”

 

“That I’m here for you. The good, the bad and the ugly. When you hide away in your feelings, I just get a piece of ya, but I want the whole thing.”

 

“You don’t mean that.”

 

Warm hands lifted Hanzo’s face to look Jesse in the eye.

 

“I mean it, every single word. I love you Hanzo, the whole Hanzo. I don’t want a facade, I want the whole mess. Now let’s make tea and have a good long chat about what’s been happening in that head of yours.”

 

Tears wetted both Hanzo and Jesse’s cheeks as he melted into the kiss. He hugged Jesse tight, not wanting to ever let go. Jesse nuzzled into his neck.

 

“You’re not alone anymore Hanzo, and you won’t be ever again.”


End file.
